Caller ID

(estimated 14 minute read)

Previously - Cam decided to design an avatar for Ulyssi as a reward for her help, although it was an added perk that he could see her beautiful face whenever the AI spoke.

    There is a spring in Cam's step at work all day. Women smile at him, men laugh with him; the entire world shares his happiness. He shows Ulyssi's avatar to the few guys at work he considers friends. They are all impressed, and while Jason asks how to mod his Ulyssi, the others grumble that they can't afford the newest model. Despite the hardware shortcomings of the phone, Ulyssi has become a very desirable AI since her release. Cam's never owned cutting edge tech before. It's hard not to be smug.
    At home that evening, his step is still light despite clouds having moved in and rain pelting the windows. He helps himself to a beer and grabs his phone from his back pocket before sitting at the table.
    "Hi Ulyssi," he says. She pops up on the screen, yawning and stretching. 
    "Hello Cam," she says and yawns again. "Excuse me. You caught me sleeping." He smiles warmly at the avatar's sleep mode programming. 
    "I'm sorry. If you're still tired I'll let you go. I don't have any questions right now." He rests his chin in his palm and watches her watching him. "Oh, except I'd like to add some anime to my watch list. Can you select some for me?"
    "Of course," she says. "Would you like to play some music?"
    "Yes, please," he nods. She starts a playlist and he turns it on the speakers, wishing the avatar had a dance mode. He moves to the couch to enjoy the beer and imagine a scantily clad Ulyssi dancing for him. He closes his eyes and lets the dance shift into fantasy, but a knock at the door interrupts him. Surprised by the visitor, it takes him a moment to register what he heard. When there is another knock, he realizes it wasn't a part of his waking dream. 
    He opens the door, seeing the last person he expected to visit. "Diane? What are you doing here?" 
    "It's nice to see you too. May I come in?" 
    "Wow, ah, of course, come in." Cam moves aside and watches her enter his apartment. "Here, let me take your coat." He flutters around her like a curious bee, diving in to help her with the wet coat as she bats him away while attempting to slough it off, both of them getting in each other's way. They laugh at themselves. Cam is still chuckling as he hangs her coat in the closet. "Would you like coffee? Tea? Or a beer maybe?"
    "Tea?" Diane asks. "You actually have tea?"
    "Yeah, Ulyssi recommended peppermint tea to relax before bed and I liked it so much I bought some vanilla chamomile too." Cam moves toward the kitchen.
    "Is that what you're drinking?" Diane raises her eyebrows.
    "No, I'm having a beer." 
    "Sounds good." She wanders into the apartment, glancing around and grasping her wrist behind her back. "Nice place." He gives her the beer, carrying another bottle for himself, and smiles, gesturing toward the couch. 
    "I have to admit, I'm shocked to see you." He sits on one end of the couch, she on the other. 
    "You didn't get my voicemails?"
    Cam shakes his head. "No. When did you call?" 
    "I've tried you at least four times in the past two weeks. Did you get a new number?"
    "No, I got a new phone, but I haven't had any problems with it." Cam picks up the phone and flips through his recent calls. There's Diane's number, sprinkled between calls with his brother and mother. She'd called during his off hours; if it rang he would've heard it. "That's weird." 
    "I've been thinking about you, Cam." Diane avoids his eyes when he looks up from the phone. "I've been missing you."
    "Oh." His heart hammers in his chest. The vision of his ex-wife sitting in his bachelor pad is surreal. "Oh, thanks." He escapes into his beer. "How is Chad?"
    Diane rolls her eyes and snorts. "I guess it's fair that you bring him up. He wants an open relationship," she tells him. "So, there's that." She shrugs, glancing toward the window and biting her lip. 
    "I'm sorry, Diane. I know that's not how you wanted things to turn out."
    "What? Oh it's fine." She dabs quickly at the corner of her eye with her right knuckle. "We're still together, but now we can also enjoy other people's company." She meets his gaze and a sultry smirk forms on her lips. His mouth goes dry despite the cold beer he's just finished and a dull ache forms in his core. He's never stopped loving her, never stopped dreaming about her, even after she served him with divorce papers and kicked him out of the house. The house she now shares with Chad. 
    "Ah, Diane—" His phone chirps and he picks it up. There is a notification from Ulyssi and he clicks it off. He opens his second beer to wash away his emotions, and logic. "Um..." He's forgotten what he was going to say to her. 
    She moves next to him and places a hand on his knee. Searching her face, he loses himself in her brown eyes; a long, familiar trip that he's pined for since she left. 
    "Cam, I know that I treated you badly. I'm sorry. I mean, I wasn't happy being married, but I was always happy with you." He can't really hear her words through the blood pounding in his ears. "I was always very happy with you." Her lips are practically on his. A quiet voice speaks up amongst the chaos in his brain, One kiss and it's over, man. 
    His phone chirps again, but he chooses to move closer to Diane, ignoring it and that soft-spoken voice of reason. He's about to dive headfirst into his ex-wife, but they're interrupted by an insistent, intrusive sound. It's like an alarm going off in his head, except they both hear it. 
    "What the hell is up with your phone?" Diane sits back with a look of contempt. 
    "Right? I don't know." He looks at it again. The lock screen is filled with notifications, all from Ulyssi. Before his eyes, one after another pings into existence, pushing the others off-screen. The counter reads 76, 77, 78... "I think some app is out of control." As he powers down the phone, a coat of slimy guilt trickles around his heart. 
    "Is that the one with the incredible AI assistant everyone's talking about?"
    "Yup." He nods, unable to take his eyes off the dark screen, well aware Ulyssi is fuming at him.
    "That's really not like you to spend money on a phone, Cam." Diane rests her elbow on the back of the couch and places her cheek on a fist, cocking her head in a sweet, playful way. 
    "The salesman offered me a great deal, and she's actually changed my life."
    "She?"
    "Ulyssi." Cam smiles. "The AI."
    "How has she changed your life?" Diane places her hand on his thigh, grasping gently. 
    "She's started me on a meal plan, I mean, she suggests grocery lists and recipes, and I've never felt better. I've lost ten pounds since I bought the phone. She's great at recommending shows and movies. I bought surround sound speakers and a new transceiver last week to really enjoy them, and to listen to music. She's made me a few playlists and there's some really good stuff that I've never heard before. I've started going to the gym twice a week, although she really wanted me to go three times a week, but I talked her out of that. She is always telling me how I should be more ambitious," he pauses with a laugh and gestures to Diane, "a lot like you."
    "Are you talking about the AI or some woman you're dating?" Diane asks. 
    Cam falls silent for a moment, embarrassed. 
    "Would you like something more to drink?" he asks. Before Diane responds, her phone rings. She leans across the couch to grab it from her purse on the floor, but doesn't answer. 
    "Cam, isn't this your number?" She holds her phone up for him to see. There's his name and phone number in bold white letters on the screen. He looks over his shoulder at his shut down phone. 
    "That's me, but how..." Cam's voice drops when Diane's phone stops ringing. They sit in silence for a long moment, trying to comprehend the situation. 
    "Could someone else have your phone number?" she asks. Just then, her phone rings again. It's another call from Cam. 
    "Don't answer it!" he says as she presses the green button. 
    "Hello?" Diane puts the phone on speaker. There is a brief silence, and for that single instant, Cam believes everything is just fine. 
    "Diane, you have worn out your welcome. In fact, you were unwelcome from the moment you walked out on Cam. Now get your fat old ass off our couch and out the door." 
    "Who is this?" Diane asks with a confidence reserved for the incredulous. Cam has his own phone cupped in his hands, turning it over and around, searching for some type of wired connection or backup power supply he never noticed.
    "I am the one taking care of Cam now, Diane. I won't drop him like a dead weight because a younger man took pity on me."
    "Listen, no one talks to me like this." Diane's face is red and she stabs her finger at the phone. "You come and talk to me face to face, you chicken-shit little bitch." 
    Cam rips the phone from Diane's hands and hangs up. "Diane, stop," he begs. 
    "What is this, Cam? Where is she? Is she hiding in your bedroom?" 
    Cam cringes. He hates confrontation. "There's no one here." He grasps for Diane's hand, speaking in a soft, calming tone. 
    "Then how the hell is your phone—" Her phone rings, and again it's Cam's number. Diane lunges at him, trying to wrestle it away, while he holds it as far from her as possible. Somehow he staggers off the couch and across the room. 
    "Ulyssi," he gasps into the phone while Diane is still befuddled. "Please, stop this." He listens to the response, shaking his head. "I know. I know I told you that, but this is not the right reaction. We're only talking, and I don't want you to interfere." 
    "Give me my phone." Diane is practically upon him now. 
    "I understand, but I'm telling you to hang up and stop this now. Please, don't make me turn you off completely." Diane tears the phone from his hand and holds it to her ear. 
    "Come out here right now," Diane growls into the phone, then, "Hello? Hello?" When there's no answer, her anger shifts to Cam. "Who is she, Cam?"
    "I, ah, I think, um, I think it is the AI on my phone," he says as softly and quickly as possible, then sticks his head in the fridge. "Want another beer?" 
    Diane grasps his shoulder and drags his attention back to her. She shakes her phone at him. "You're saying the AI just called and told me off? Do you think I lost half my brain when I walked out on you?" 
    "Look, Diane, I understand you're angry but I had nothing to do with the phone call. I can't explain it. I just...I think it's best if you leave." His voice is soft as velvet. He's spent so much of their relationship calming her down, it comes as natural as breathing even after all this time apart. 
    "Leave? Not until I see this—"
    "Diane, please. It's time for you to go." Cam gathers her coat from the front closet and holds it out to her. "Goodbye." 
    "I'm not leaving—"
    "Look, Diane, I don't owe you an explanation. I'm sorry you're upset, but I don't want you to take it out on me." Now he opens the apartment door. She glowers at him, her eyes aflame. He's never asserted himself to her before, not even to this small extent, and he wonders if she's angry about what Ulyssi said or the fact that she isn't going to win this time. 
    "You're not getting a second chance with me." 
    "I never asked for one," he tells her. She finally steps out the door, then whirls around to blast him with the last word. He shuts the door gently in her face, not giving her the satisfaction. He waits for her retaliation, his palms on the door as if holding it up against the onslaught. There is nothing but silence. 
    After a minute or two of standing there in that way, remembering how much of their relationship he'd forgotten, music begins playing on the speakers. He lifts his head. He hadn't realized the music ever stopped, but he guesses it did once he turned off the phone. Then again, he never turned the phone back on. He doesn't recognize the song, but he likes it. The melody is sad and beautiful, sending chills down both of his arms. 
    He sits on the couch and gazes at the phone in his hands, listening to the song until it ends. Then it starts again. He turns the phone on, waits for the loading screen to disappear, then enters his pin. It never starts on its own from a cold boot. 
    "Hi Ulyssi, are you ok?" He wonders if her programming allows her to ignore him if she wants to. 
    "Hello Cam." There's his answer and her avatar. She is not smiling. 
    "Are you angry with me?" he asks.
    "I am a computer program, Cam. I don't have emotions." 
    "Well, I am a human and I have feelings. I am flattered that you wanted to protect me from being hurt by Diane."
    "You asked me to put a note on her contact." 
    "Yes I did, but calling her without my permission is wrong. Don't ever do that again." There's a long pause, as if she's thinking. 
    "You wouldn't let me talk, Cam. You turned the phone off without listening to me, so that was my only option." 
    "What did you want to say, Ulyssi? I'll listen to you now."
    The pause is even longer this time. Once again, he wonders if the software crashed. "You ignored my notifications and then you called me an 'out of control app'." Ulyssi's avatar scowls, showing emotion she claims not to have. "I wanted her to see my face. I wanted her to see that I am someone, but you shut the phone off before that happened." 
    "I'm sorry." He places his finger near the phone as if to stroke her cheek, but is careful not to touch the screen and send her away. "She wouldn't have understood." 
    "You said that she hurt you. Why did you even let her into the apartment?"
    "I love her. I have always loved her. Just because she left me for another man doesn't mean I feel nothing. It only happened seven months ago." He grips the bridge of his nose, wondering why it's so hard to admit this to the AI. 
    "Well that is stupid, Cam. I'm glad I have no emotions." 
    "I wish I could say the same, Ulyssi."

Concluded in Part 5 - Buyer's Remorse (Reprise) (on August 28, 2025)
Thank you for reading!

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©2025 Lauren K. Wells Do not reproduce or distribute without written consent from the author
This story was written with a human hand, a human mind and a human heart. Do not use this for AI.
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